I get a lot of people coming to me with questions about the title of this article. Why do so many people on planet Earth seem to find relief through playing games to hurt, harm, get what they want, share a message without speaking it directly, or show someone they are hurt by hurting back? I see this as a wounded condition of some that are still waking up to the whole concept that we create our own reality. I also see this behavior coming from a place of people not spending daily time connecting to their underlying impulses, and subconscious issues. When we don't spend time looking deep within on a daily level understanding what drives us, then we will tend to take actions that we feel are justified. We may say to ourselves, well if this person said that to me, then I am going to do this to them. This is the revengeful approach. Then their is the unconscious approach: well, I want to feel loved, so I will distance myself when I am afraid someone will not love me. These are just examples of the way humans play games with each other. Unfortunately, when it comes to these type of games, no one ever wins. And one of the biggest issues is that many times these actions are done towards others due to their own assumptions that something is happening, without ever discussing it with them or having proof. Sure, a person can have an intuition, but a lot of the time, interpersonal dynamics are misconstrued because of a person's own wounding.
So, how do we deal with people that are doing these types of behaviors? We could choose to get angry, but that wouldn't really solve anything, would it? In the past, I might have told myself or clients to talk it out with the person. However, what I have learned over the years is that if the other people are not willing to live from a non-blaming place, or if they are really not honest enough with self to explore their actions or role, a conversation proves fruitless. It just ends in pain. Carl Jung said in so many words that communication is overrated. It made me chuckle when I first heard this because there is some truth to this. Communication really only works when people are really committed to trying to work things out. In compassionate communication techniques, there is a theory that as long as the other person is in a state of empathy, then the other one in conflict will come around. This may work 50% of the time…so then what?Surrender and shift focus. Let them do what they do. Let them "win", because it is only themselves they harm. Basically, ignore it. Do not put your attention on what they do. Do not even respond. If they come and meet you halfway with a loving action, that is when you respond. This is different than a game because you are choosing to focus on only positive energy. The intent is not to harm, and that is the difference. Then, if the person comes back at you with the old, less healthy energy, withdraw your energy again. You see, when you pay attention to things you don't want, you merely attract it more. So it is taking the conscious stand to focus on loving actions and shift focus on all else. If they continue to use these manipulative behaviors in a way that is disturbing the homeostasis of your life, then it may be time if possible to shut the door. A yogi tea bag said once on it, the purpose of life is to be joyful. I agree. Do not waste time and energy by focusing on people that take actions from unconscious places. And you know what else? Don't worry about what they think of you. One of my favorite all time quotes is: it's none of your business what other people think of you. True, so true.
Many people have lost their own family members due to what I speak of here, specifically in the lightworker community. This is because as you wake up to the truth of reality, you begin to see that all reflections are for information for you to heal. This means, that even the person doing the odd behaviors is there to teach you something and so you begin to be willing to sit vulnerably with others to resolve things. However, with these new skills, we also learn as lightworkers we may be disappointed when others haven't quite reached that realization yet. In fact, when you sit with them vulnerably sharing with an open heart, they may even use that as a time to actually throw energetic darts. Yes, if this is in your reality, this may be trying to teach you something: to choose loving reflections. Sometimes the lesson alone is for you to detach from people and send them on there way, loving them as a soul from afar. You do not need to put up with abuse and games to be a lightworker. You merely need to live authentically. This can mean being aware when someone uses covert opportunities to harm. Choose those who vibrate from loving intention, truly. This may mean you find those to deeply connect with that are far and few between. That is why I believe many lightworkers keep to themselves and at times experience the illusion of loneliness. I believe once you are a person that is truly able to see beyond the actions of others, to see what is underneath, that knowing this information can sometimes bring up sadness as well. Yet, the less you focus on these actions, the more you will be propelled back to those that are of your true soul group of evolved beings. This statement is not a put-down for those that choose to play games. It is simply a matter of asking what kind of energies and feelings do you feel comfortable around. Trust your instincts. When something feels really bad, even if you may have a role in a dynamic, it probably is. It probably is a discordant energy that you are ready to release. This means releasing your part about it, and yes, sometimes releasing the person. This releasing of the person may be temporary. They may come around again and you will resonate with them in the future, but for now, accept what is. Accept what is and bless them on their way.
An exercise to release discordant energy:
Place the right hand over the left hand on the heart and say in your head or out loud:
My heart, I love you.
My mind, I love you.
I forgive myself for anything I have done or said that needs to be forgiven.
And I release my attachment to the unkind words or actions others have done or said towards me.
I recognize my own beauty.
I believe in myself and in my dreams.
I am bountiful, I am beautiful, and I am blissful.
I am at peace.
I am whole.
I am loved.
I rest in the light of this truth.
With much love,
We are one.